It’s hard to believe that it’s been only a month. It went quickly and I feel like Ayden has been with us forever. He has been adjusting so well. I was scared before because I heard stories from adoptive families who had attachment issues. I think because Ayden was so clingy to his foster family and they did such a good job of prepping him for us, we have had a pretty smooth transition.
He’s already speaking a few words of English such as mama, dada, hi, bye, apple, Pororo, grandpa and peekaboo. He is practically glued to me and freaks out if I’m out of his site for a minute. This is expected because that’s how he was with foster mom.
I spend most of my days trying to separate the dog and baby. Ayden is just so excited and wants to play with Maddox constantly. He waves his arms and slaps the dog, but it is out of excitement. But if doggy is not in the mood sometimes there is crying. Then I pick him up to soothe him. This happens at least 12 times a day.
People might think there is a difference with adoptive parenting. It can be depending on the circumstance. It’s true that I constantly think of birth mom and foster family so I might put extra pressure on myself. But no one is expecting perfection. He is developing well. Every parent receives unending unsolicited advice from others which you gracefully have to pretend to accept. All in all you just have to think of your own situation and know your child. I do second guess myself a lot and wonder if a certain behavior is due to adoption or just him being 26 months old. And although he is doing well now, it’s not to say he still won’t grieve years later when he knows the depth of his story.
I’m glad I get to use social media to keep in contact with other adoptive families and see the glorious messes of our lives. I’m also trying to remember the most frequent piece of advice friends and family members have given: Enjoy this age.
Adopting After Infertility 