Waiting to Adopt

Ten Things I’ve Been Doing to Stay Sane During the Wait

When you’ve been matched with a child, it’s an excruciating feeling. I’m excited and I very much consider him my son. He’s with his foster mom now and I trust she’s taking care of him, but I have never met him and I feel like he’s growing so quickly and I’m missing everything. There will still be many firsts as he is so young. I’m just trying not to think too much about when we will get that call giving us permission to travel. I have to patiently wait. Anyways, here are some things I’ve been trying to do to stay focused and positive:

1. Exercising-Luckily it’s summer and I can run everyday, do my yoga and focus on getting my body healthy so I will have the energy to run around when I become a parent.
2. Cooking-I love learning about new recipes. This summer I’ve been obsessed with making pasta from scratch. I can’t wait to go to the farmer’s market on weekends and see what fresh ingredients they have.
3. Decorating-I’m constantly moving things around in the baby’s room. I think of the future and the daily routine with changing, night time rituals etc. We’re having a baby shower this week so I wonder what advice people will give me on raising a 2-year old.
4. Journaling-Besides this blog, I have other written outlets. I have an adoption journal that someone from work gave me. It’s a keepsake journal that I can one day show my son. I also keep separate journals for positive and negative thoughts. It just helps me sort out my emotions.
5. Traveling-This summer I’ve taken several trips to South Carolina. Charleston is one of my favorite cities. Everything is so beautiful and so charming; it’s a laid back, larger town. The food is amazing and the people have that southern hospitality.
6. Photographing-I’ve streamlined my Instagram @wheatenville to just showcase my dog. I’m trying to take really beautiful photographs as practice for when we get to travel to Seoul.
7. Planning-It’s time to think about our will, our future forever home, bank accounts, baptism and child care options for our son.
8. Meditating-It’s so important to stop and just focus on the breath. I like the @toneitup meditations on Youtube. I also will just put meditation music on Spotify and try to focus on the now.
9. Supporting-I’m constantly checking my infertility and adoption groups on Facebook. The one on Korean adoption is crucial because I can see where others are in the process and I can also get news on what’s happening with immigration, political news etc. While there are many groups for trying to conceive, and many groups where families with biological kids are now trying to adopt, it doesn’t seem like there are too many for people in my situation. I think I want to start one for people who have stopped trying to get pregnant, do not have any bio kids and are trying to adopt.
10. Communicating-While waiting to adopt and obviously while going through anything in a marriage, it’s important to communicate with your spouse about your feelings. You have to remain a connected team if you are going to be able to parent in a caring and loving way.

#koreanadoption #adoption #theadoptionwait #infertility